Stupid Taco Bell commercial. Ok, so I know they’re all pretty bad, but you may recognize this one that has been running recently. I’d show you the real ad on Youtube but I guess the folks behind the Volcano Burrito don’t want to take advantage of free advertising. Smart. Not.
Two stereotypical Taco Bell Commercial Douchebags are lounging next to the pool eating a Fiesta Taco Salad. How these two ordered such a thing without receiving unending ridicule from friends and family is left unexplained. We are, however, given this brilliant exchange of words:
Dude A: “Hey bro, I thought this was a salad.”
Dude B: Removing finger from ass… “Huh?”
A: “I can’t find the lettuce.”
B: “Did you look under the cheese?”
A: “Not there.”
B: “Did you look under the meat?”
A: “Dude, I looked under the meat, the taco shell, I even stood up and looked under this kickass lawn chair. The lettuce is fucking gone.
Hottie: Entering the scene, thinking she’s awesome for being in a Taco Bell commercial… “Did you look under the beans?”
A: Obviously not the first time he’s needed a woman’s help finding something under something, now holding lettuce on his fork… “Aaaallllriiiiiiight.”
B: “So it’s technically a salad.”
I’d like for these geniuses to find the lettuce in three-bean salad, potato salad, or antipasto. So what really constitutes a salad? Hell if I know. If you believe Wikipedia then it might as well be a mixture of any food items, hot or cold, no matter what they are.
Well if that’s all it takes to play this salad game, I want in.
What I Used
- Cucumber, peeled and julienned (I’m sure my knife skills did not produce a proper 1/8 in. x 1/8 in. x 2.5 in. cut)
- Extra Soft Tofu, 1/2 in. cubes
- Dried Cranberries
- Pistachios, finely chopped
- Lime Juice, freshly squeezed
- Don’t forget the salt
What I Did
- Combine the cucumber, tofu, cranberries, and salt.
- Squeeze fresh lime juice on the whole thing.
- Top with chopped pistachios.
You know what I love about this salad? Cooking Time: 0 minutes.
So it isn’t mind-blowing, but the flavors do work. It could really use something to tie all these things together with more body than just lime juice. Maybe make this into a lime vinaigrette?
This dish did let me discover that I really like how cranberries and pistachios pair. On Mothers Day I made a Cran-Pistachio Pesto that the parentals seemed to enjoy. With a couple small tweaks that recipe could very well end up here.
It sounds quite good, the cranberry pistachio combination! I’ve been using dried cheeries and cashews often in salads, but I need to think out of the box!